Things that go “drip” in the night

Deep in the dark of my house, when everyone is asleep, liquids begin to move. Puddles appear, streams flow, fluids mysteriously translocate. They take their place, waiting to be found early in the morning, just as I’m trying to get out the door to work.

  • Monday: Dog pee (and turds) all over the kitchen floor. Must have kept him inside too long.
  • Tuesday: The oil light comes on in my car. I quickly pull into a service station and add a quart.
  • Wednesday: One of the fittings on my recent toilet installation project downstairs is dripping. I use more teflon tape and reattach the hoses.
  • Thursday: The ghost in the shower makes a showing – dripping freezing water from the shower head on myself in the morning, and on the kids as they try to take a bath at night.
  • Friday: More urine. This time from the cat. The bathroom rug AND a bunch of toys downstairs. Out to the back yard for a hosedown. I would hose the cat too if he were within range.
  • Saturday: The night before my wife made some delicious peach and wine smoothies in the blender. We saved part of the batch in the fridge. To greet me at the dawn: an unbelievably sticky orange river through the kitchen. It turns out their is an o-ring seal on the bottom of the new blender that needs to stay screwed on tightly.

I am NOT making ANY of this up.

As I lay my head on the pillow, I’m afraid to close my eyes.

What will the morning bring?