Moscow Cafe Crawl

Ben Schott over at the New York Times recently published a really fun styled list of esoteric barista jargon.

Link here.

A few of my favorites:

• Check the honey – Indicates an attractive customer in line. (“Can you check the honey?”)
• Facemelter – A superthink ristretto, extracted for more than 30 seconds, less than one ounce
• Juicers – Customers who sit all day at their computers
• Phonies – Customers who order while on their cellphones
• Sipsters – Hipsters who insist on porcelain rather than to-go cups (Guilty!)
• Ghetto Latte – When a customer orders an espresso over ice in a large cup and then fills the cup with milk at the condiment bar to save money
• Sorority Special – A skim milk latte with sugar-free vanilla syrup
• Churchill – A classy tipper

And also in the baristas-saying-not-so-nice things-behind-people’s-backs department, a coffee shop worker in Seattle (we call it “The West Side” here) was fired last week when it was discovered he was the writer behind The Bitter Barista blog/twitter feed. Fortunately, he immediately got several job offers at other shops the following day. Some of his rants are pretty funny. (Language warning!)

You need 3 airpots of coffee for a meeting? You need it immediately? Or you’ll be late? Lucky for you, I’m a wizard!

No ma’am, we do not serve soy eggnog. We don’t serve unicorn milk either.

Don’t let that 3-foot tall glass wall between you and the pastries stop you. Climb over it and try to touch as many things as possible.

Please pour your coffee into the trash can so it can ruin my day later.

 

 

Filed under: Uncategorized on February 21st, 2013