On dragging your kids to adult events (church?)

Lewis, recalling being dragged to grown-up dances at about the age of eight:

It was the false position (which I was well able to realize) that tormented me; to know that one was regarded as a child and yet be forced to take part in an essentially grown-up function, to feel that all the adults present were being half-mockingly kind and pretending to treat you as what you were not. Add to this the discomfort of one’s Eton suit and stiff shirt, the aching feed and burning head, and the mere weariness of being kept up so many hours after one’s usual bedtime.

Even adults, I fancy, would not find an evening part very endurable without the attraction of sex and the attraction of alcohol; and how a small boy who can neither flirt nor drink should be expected to enjoy prancing about on a polished floor till the small hours of the morning, is beyond my conception.

-C.S. Lewis, Surprised by Joy, p.47

Of course, I can’t let this go by without comparing it to something else that is often on my mind: making your 3-year old sit silent and still through a 120 minute church service.

Church is NOT just for grown-ups. Excluding the children from the community (sending them off to youth group) is fundamentally unhealthy. That’s not saying there isn’t a good way to run Sunday School or Youth group. But drawing a think line of detachment, with seemingly no way to cross it until they suddenly find themeselves sitting upstairs with their new spouse has all kinds of fallout.

That’s why I’m actually all for paedocommunion. I have mixed feelings on paedobaptism, but I’m all for including the children in the community as much as possible (‘as much as possible’ that’s a key phrase). We just let our four-year-old daughter take communion last month. She has made a confession of faith in Jesus. I think she ‘understands’ what she’s doing about as well as a four-year-old could. Why deny her taking part in the most important sacrament commanded by Jesus and celebrated in every church community since Acts to today? Why wait till she is 10 or some arbitrary age? It excludes from the community for, I believe, no good reason.

Next, is other parts of worship. Like singing songs. Kids can do totally do this. My two-year-old sings along with all sorts of music. Singing songs together builds community too. It’s explicitly mentioned a lot in the Bible too, so it’s a no-brainer. Keep the kids for sure.

Now comes the turn though. The sermon. 20-90 minute monologue, often with. Now don’t get me wrong. I really enjoy good preaching and bible teaching. I dig good long sermons. However, the arguments for keeping your toddlers glued to their seats and gagged through this… well I’m not going into them here, but lets say I’ve yet to ever hear a truly convincing argument for it. You have to turn a blind eye to all sorts of common sense to ride that horse. Seriously. The fact that the canon includes an account of someone falling out of a window and DYING during the Apostle Paul’s boring preaching… There’s some application lurking in there folks, I just know it!

That discussion is for another day though. It still needs time to brew.