Stop sinning! Pray more! Read your bible more! Support 947 charities! Raise perfect children! Never have health problems! Work hard! Harder! Harder! But still spent tons of time with your kids! Don’t be materialistic, but have enough junk that you don’t look weird! Be unique! Blend in! Teach your kids Latin! Teach your kids Spanish! Teach your kids to play an instrument! Have friends! Read books, or your brain will rot! Eat healthier! Spend less! Look less conservative! Look more conservative! Work with the homeless! Keep your hair short and your nose clean! Wipe your kid’s nose! Keep all your appointments! Attend every meeting! Don’t swear! Drive under the speed limit! Be punctual! Mow your grass! Eat the leftovers! Be a fun parent! Make something of yourself! Be willing to grow! Change the world! Give your spouse good sex! Appreciate art! Perform music! Work out or run every day! Watch less TV! Clean the toilet! Be successful! Be humble! Go to prayer meetings! Go to church! Serve at church! Cut your nails! Stay off the Internet! Wear matching socks! Worship more! Control your thoughts! Don’t screw your kids up! Love the jerk at work! Tithe! Get enough sleep! Clean the cobwebs! Do the dishes! Wash the car! Know what you believe! Put the toilet paper on the holder!
My wife made this list on a whim during a recent discussion. It’s pretty darn accurate.