Rob Thicke’s ‘Blurred Lines’ is total horse manure

I’ve written well over a thousand blog posts here and I can probably count on two hands how many qualify as genuine “rants”. It’s just not a genre I’m interested in reading much of so I don’t write it either. I am compelled to say something this time though.

Like everyone else who reads anything on the internet, I saw all the brouhaha over Miley Cyrus’s raunchy performance at the MTV video awards last month. I remember thinking, “Who is this other guy, Rob Thicke? (It’s pronounced “thick”). I didn’t think I’d ever heard of him.” Well, it turns out I had heard his hit song “Blurred Lines” on pop radio a few times, I just had never made the connection. Then I saw this interview with some gal named Emily Ratajkowski who was apparently a model in Thicke’s music video, but had just hit it big in the acting world by being cast across from Ben Affleck in the upcoming film adaptation of the bestselling thriller novel Gone Girl. Alright, so out of curiosity I looked up the music video. OK, that was a mistake. I shut it off after less than half a minute.

The film purports to be put together by famed music video directing master Diane Martel. Well let me tell you exactly what Martel needed to produce this video:

  • A room with cream colored walls
  • A couple of lights
  • 1 camera and tripod
  • 1 bale of hay
  • 1 goat
  • 3 young women to take all their clothes off and walk around the room
  • A cheap CD player (off screen) to sing along with

That’s it. It’s a wrap! I guess if I wanted to be technical, I should say that someone had to do some post-production color-correcting to make Thicke’s eyes some unnatural blue color. That’s got to count for something.

rob-thicke

So the song, which itself sounds so much like an old Marvin Gaye tune that the record company is being sued, features Thicke who is a good 15 years senior to the naked ladies on the screen, barely singing, lip syncing lines like “You the hottest bitch in this place, hey hey hey, you know you want it.” Man, what a star! What an artiste! What genius! Just prance some fresh meat around on the screen for a few minutes and call it good.

In an interview with GQ after the video was banned from YouTube, Thicke commented,

“We tried to do everything that was taboo. Bestiality, drug injections, and everything that is completely derogatory towards women. Because all three of us are happily married with children, we were like, ‘We’re the perfect guys to make fun of this.’ People say, ‘Hey, do you think this is degrading to women?’ I’m like, ‘Of course it is. What a pleasure it is to degrade a woman. I’ve never gotten to do that before. I’ve always respected women.’ “

Oh, haha. Now we get it. It’s all just tongue-in-cheek! That’s pretty clever there Rob! You’re alright dude.

I think I’ll just quote Mark Knoffler, also tongue-in-cheek – sort of:

“Now look at them yo-yos. That ain’t working. They play the guitar on the MTV. That ain’t workin’. That’s the way you do it. Money for nothing and your chicks for free.” (Dire Straits, Money for Nothing)

That was penned back in the 1980s, when the musicians actually still played guitars (albeit barely) and the ‘free’ chicks at least still wore clothing in public. Ratajkowski said in her interview that she’s glad she’s made it big in Hollywood now so she won’t have to do nudie shoots anymore. Well good for her. I’m glad she had that as a stepping stone to fame and riches. What about all the other girls in her situation? They’re rock bottom with nowhere to go, surrounded by a bunch of cocky guys that are pretty happy to keep ’em right where they’re at.

Along these lines, I highly recommend Matt Walsh’s post, Dear son, don’t let Robin Thicke be a lesson to you.